well I’m 24 now and I feel the exact damn same as I did when I was 23

so this will be my last post as 23, which is weird because it honestly doesn’t feel that I am this old. years are going by so fast its weird.

nothing really special going on today. I got paid and went and bought a 320 gig hard drive. I needed this to store all my pictures and music on. then went to work and worked from 1pm to 10pm. I have to go back in at 8in the morning which sucks, but it’ll be cool.

Anyway’s that’s all that has been going on. im pretty bored and thoughtless ha, so I’ll write again later.

-josh

I just got done shaving, it is so fun! I love it! woot.

Nothing much happened today at all. Just messed around. Really nothing to do. The damn electricity went out for like 2 hours which really sucked because then there really wasn’t anything to do at all.

I just watched movies and messed around. It’s great being off work for two whole days, but then it sucks because I have no idea of what to do. I mostly just sleep which is worth it.

So tomorrow I have to go back to work, which sucks a little but, but at least I’ll have something to do. I don’t have to be in til 1pm, which isn’t bad. But I have to get up alot earlier so I can go get my check and pay some bills and such. I don’t know though if I want to keep my cell phone or not. I’m freaked out about the entire two year thing, and my bill is over $100 which is alot. They give you 15 days to make up your mind about it, and the day after tomorrow is the 15th day. SO I gotta make up my mind tomorrow. I’ll probably end up keeping it. I don’t talk to many people on it so I guess I’ll see if I can get the plan lowered to a different one. I dunno what to do about that really, ha.

Man my email provider sucks so badly! I’m trying to use inbox.com, but for some reason my pop client (incredimail) cant connect to their lame servers, and also I logged in an hour ago to send an email to myself at gmail, and it took almost an hour for the email to get there. How lame is that? I like the entire blank at inbox.com addy, but the system sucks. I wish I was able to get a cool email addy with google. damnidunno at gmail is way too dang long haha.

damn its already 2:17. I need sleep! I didn’t wake up today until 2something PM, so I’m not really sleepy or anything so this sucks.

I can’t believe that I’m 23… 24 on the 8th, and still single! I should be married by now right? It’s crazy.

I’m all weird and shit because It’s like I don’t trust anyone anymore. Especially girls. So many of them have lied to me and played lame ass games, and I don’t really believe anything that they say anymore. and it’s not healthy. I’m trying to fix this, but I keep going back. it’s weird because I didn’t used to be this way. It’s not just girls I get to know but its almost people in my family just lie all the time. I hate it. cant trust anyone anymore. sometimes I think that it was better when I wasn’t this way such as when I was little, but I was only dumb and naive then. lies were still happening I was just a fool and believed it. I wonder if I’m scared of feeling like a fool again which is why I don’t trust anything. I don’t know.

I especially cant seem to chat online with people anymore. they always seem to think I’m being a dickhead or I hate them or something. it’s weird. most of the time I’m being sarcastic which I think is funny and I guess they just don’t pick up on it. I really need to work on that. I think people in real life are thinking the same things. I don’t totally understand that yet, but I need to work on it ha.

I’m worrying about too much crap tonight I guess.

anyway’s its time for bed. maybe I’ll put a movie in and pass out watching it. dunno

I’ll write again later
-josh

Wow, I finally decided to put this journal thing back online. why not? Not using the domain and I need something to put on it (as I said before)

Anyway’s I hated the blue theme I made before, it was too happy like, ha and it was just gay. It was pretty but I dunno. not in the mood. I might switch off and on or something. Depending on my mood

The black and red theme I had on here before was cool, but at the same time looked kinda lame. so I took the skull background off and made a new logo at the top, and removed all the red beveled edges and corners and shit, and then it what it turned into. Good for now

I finally have two days off from work, WOOt. I kinda like going to work now since I hate being stuck here with nothing to do, but at the same time the job sucks.  I wish I got into the music I always wanted to create, but I don?t see that happening anytime soon. too much lame ass drama happening lately. I dunno. just dunno..

I’m trying to be nicer to people lately and show more of my personality. I seem to always be in a bad mood anymore, and its starting to really suck. So I’ll be working on that ha, uh.

Does anyone have an idea on how to change the brush tool size in adobe flash cs3? It won’t let me and the pencil tool sucks. I need to make some new flash videos and stuff for the semi-retarded site. I haven’t used that flash shit in years, so I dunno how to even use it, but I’ll get there.

I think it should be a rule for me not to write about girls on here anymore. ha Girls seriously let me down. I swear all the runs I run into are bipolar or something. They seem really cool and sweet at first, but then they change and its weird. And I end up feeling like a fool and then I think that they don?t deserve to have their name on my sites so I delete it, which is all pathetic at the same time. maybe its best to not write about them? Who knows.

someday I’ll find the right girl and it’ll be cool. so fuck it all now. I don’t really worry about it, but it would be nice to have someone who misses me much and loves me. I never really had that. it’d be cool. But isn’t a major thing for me right now.

I tried to buy the joshx domain back, but the dude didn’t reply. So whatever. Keep it. damnidunno is a good domain, but I’d like something more personal and short, but its cool to stick with this one.

fuck I have nothing to do!

net is so boring anymore. I don’t know how I used to have so much fun on here. seems like I only get on here anymore Cruz I live out in the country without shit else to do. so whatever ha.

I am seriously thinking about finally starting a band. It’ll be so different from any of the bands out there right now. it’ll be alot of fun. I think I’ll regret it so much if I at least didn’t give it a serious attempt. There are only two things I ever really wanted to do which was either to make music, or become a cop. So I at least wanna do one of those

anyway’s this shit is fuckin with my eyes right now so I’ll write again later.

stay black