For the past year and so I’ve been thinking about attempting to join the US army. I think it’d be an awesome thing to do and I’d see and learn so much, it’d just be cool.

As many of you can see from my previous posts, I’ve been VERY bored. I’m not a psycho really, I just have nothing to do so I act goofy and weird and get depressed (not really) over stupid stuff. So having something major to do would help me out a lot, such as joining the army.

I would need to do a few things before I’d be accepted into the army. I’d have to fix up my schooling, maybe get a real GED or diploma, I don’t know about either, and then I’d need to work out and get back in shape, and what sucks the most is that I would have to shave my head! ah! I’ve been growing my hair out long for over a year now. But I don’t mind.

I’d probably be sent to Iraq really, and I don’t have a problem with that. I do have a problem with the heat, but that’s about it. I think it’d be a great experience.

I would have to deal with my mom though getting all weird about it. She doesn’t believe in the war in Iraq (as in the reasoning for even being there) and she keeps saying that if anyone signed up now they’d be shipped there. Which is true. And I know she’d cry and get so upset if I joined, but I’m 23 years old and I need to do something finally and get a career in something. I can still do music also. Elvis was in the military! hah.

I just think that if I don’t join while I’m young, I’ll probably regret it for the rest of my life. it’s really thing that its’ something that everyone should do for their country. at least a few years. one at the least. Nothing bad in that.

I am a bit scared. When it comes to the contract signing. After you sign that the amount of time you enlisted for is there. You can’t change your mind afterwards.

Anyway’s it’s just a thought right now and something I’ve been wanting to do. I am looking into all the options and reading up on a lot of info.
I’ll write again later

josh

I just got back from taking a 5 hour or so car ride. I hate long car rides anymore. Just sitting there in a car not being able to lay down or anything for a few hours really sucks. I think its maybe because since I’m in Kansas… there isn’t really much to see. I don’t know, I love Kansas though and  it does change a lot. Where I’m its basically flat, but west Kansas is full of huge hills and everything, so it isn’t the same all over.

I remember when I was around 7 or so we went to my Uncles wedding. I think that it was some where in Kansas City, along the way there were these beautiful hills. Hundreds of them covered in green grass, it was like a painting. I still have never forgotten those images. I wish I knew exactly where it was because I’d love to go back.

Anyway’s I don’t know why I so dislike stupid car rides or whatever you call them. Maybe its because when I was a teenager we would have to drive back and forth to the group homes. (sometimes on the weekends I got to go home) and the ride back was always depressing, so maybe that’s why. Or its really just because they are boring and plain out suck ass.

I do get a lot of song ideas in the car though. So that’s at least one really good thing about long ass car rides.

I forgot what I as going to write about haha. I seriously doubt that I was going to write about boring ass car rides. I was probably going to write another semi-self pity post. I dunno. uhh. hmm.

Oh yeah, I still can’t find that book! I think that I am going to have to end up going to one of them … book store places… The last time I actually went to one and bought books was around 2000 and 2001 when I as in a group home and was severely bored. I went and bought like 15 books that I have never read. I think I’ve only read 2 of them. I started on another but reading long ass books is something that bores me as well. I can read encyclopedia and stuff like that for hours, but not fiction books.

Oh yeah, while I as in the car I was wondering about this webbie journal thing. Like I bet the only time someone will ever even come here and read this stuff will be when I’m dead or something, or famous or something weird, so I’m not completely wasting my time by writing in it now. I dunno. Either way I think its good to randomly write crap down. It’s just weird to do it in such a public way where anyone can read it. I don’t care really though because I think that I am super honest and I’d tell anyone anything anyway’s.

I am so tired…. getting ready to passout. uh

I think I’ll write again later ha
TOODLES! (yes I just said toodles again)….

I’ve been looking all over for the Kurt Cobain Diaries. It’s a book or whatever of all his doodles, journals etc that he always wrote on everything. I’ve been really interested in him lately because he was so artistic and really doesn’t seem like a guy who’d hill himself. I know that a lot of people think Courtney Love and others killed him or at least had something to do with it, I don’t know really. I just know that she is a very creepy girl and I wouldn’t trust her with anything. Hopefully I’ll find this book or ebook soon enough. I like to get into people’s minds and the best way to do this is to weird their journals and diaries.

I really only like two songs by Nirvana. I might like a lot more if I heard them, but I’ve only heard a few, and the ones I like are “Smells like Teen Spirit” and “Come As You Are”.

I can kinda relate to him in some ways, but I’ll write about that later.

Man I’m so tired! I seriously hate being tired all the time. But the good news is is that I don’t have a major headache haha. I have a slight one, but it doesn’t really bother me. I really cant imagine what it’d be like to not have a constant headache. For as long as I remember I’ve always had them. Especially when I was younger and more active. I remember playing as a kid with the headaches and when I move my head the worse they got. it always sucked. So that’s just life for me really.

What I really hate is the damn brain fog crap. I hate not being myself anymore, I hate making any sense, and I tired of sounding retarded all the time. IT’s sad really.

The worst thing about it is that there is nothing that I can do about it. Everyone knows how much crap the American health care system is. I don’t have the money to boo through all of that. When I do grotto the doctor to find out what is causing this shift they just blow me off and say something about depression. Seriously I’m not depressed! I wish that I were. At least then I could even think well enough to be depressed.  It just sucks.

I’m so bored! I tried playing a couple computer games, but I suck at them and I keep getting murdered. Especially on the multiplayer ones. So that’s no fun. I might go try and play this game called “Wulfram” again.. uhh actually I’m going to go play it again right now. ha. I’ll right again later

-josh

Wow! I am actually really liking the way this theme is looking. It took me forever to get the top logo looking at least semi-cool, but I kinda like it. I mixed my face in with one of a skull and I think that it gives it a nice effect.

Now everyone is going to think that I’m some dark crazy psycho person, which isn’t bad I don’t have a problem with that ha. I do get a bit crazy anyway’s.

I haven’t really been doing anything since my rant earlier. I’ve just been messin around, being bored. it’s still hella hot in this room, a bit too hot. And me drinking my hot french vanilla cappuccino doesn’t help, but I love it!  ha

Man there is nothing to do. I don’t know why I always have to be doing something such as creating some type of thing or working on something. I miss the old days when I was fine with just laying down and watching tv. Now I get too bored doing that.

I plan on working on my music soon. I actually can’t wait to get started on all of that. When I do start that again, I’ll be posting the lyrics and audio files on here (make this site useful ) and on damnidunno. or I’ll just post them here and link uh to here from there.. nvm I’m confused.

Man its fuckin hot. My stupid moronic cousin is here and he always has his crackhead friends over, which always talk shit, and I’m not one to just ignore people. I almost got in a fight yesterday with some weirdo fuckin dude. I think he was high or something, but he was trying to talk to me like I was some type of a bitch. I did eventually say fuckin it and came back in the room, mostly because I don’t want to grotto jail again, that shit sucks!
Anyway’s that’s why I’m usually in the room. Hiding out so I don’t have to put up with dumbasses. I really can’t stand druggies at all.

I think I may go take a nap soon. I’m getting pretty tired, well fuck I wake up already tired lol but naps are good! I’m getting so old that I need them.

Miyx and other site…
I also need to think of ideas for Miyx.com and Xiwn.com. People have been offering to buy them, but not for as much as I think that they are worth. So far its only be around $30 each. That’d be so lame for me to sell them for that cheap because they are 4 character domains and semi-pronounceable, which means that in a few years their value will multiply due to the fact that good 4 letter domains are becoming rarer by day. Some Internet people take these domains seriously. I wouldn’t personally pay much for one of these, but they do all the time. I’ve sold many of them, which is cool because it helps me support damnidunno and josh.

fuck I hate talking about computer shit hah.

Anyway’s I’m gonna go do something else

im so damn tired of always trying to be nice and watch what i say to people. I’m sick of that shit cuzz no one really gives a shit about what they say and how they treat me. I’m not being a bitch right now, but god damn.

I’m also tired of tryin to be fuckin funny. such as sayin that gay ebuddys shit, fuck that. I actually can’t stand that many people who get online and do this web shit. i don’t get along with most of them. I used to, but i suppose that i got tired of fake ass people. When i say fake i mean they pretend that they are something they arent on here. and its annoying.

FUC FUCK FUCK. im also tired of having this god damn headache every fucking day. pretty fuckin sick of life right now. Usually me walking around being goofy as fuck is a cover up or whatever. i just joke around and never am serious because when im serious everything fuck in sucks. I’m just really sick of everything right now.

Also almost every fuckin one i know in real life are hypocrites, its fuckin annoying. I’m probably even a hypocrite.

I might as well be a dick to everyone anyways. They always say i am one, even when im not meaning to be or when im tryin to be funny. so fuck it.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck….
It’s nice to rant here and there

and FUCK THE GOD DAMN SPELLING ON THIS ENTRY!

Hi eBuddies. I was thinking that It might be fun to change the picture of me when I was little, that I use as a logo into a Simpson’s like character. Maybe for the month or so this would be cool.

So I started working on one, but the Simpson’s site didn’t have all the features that I needed for my character to look right. So I edited id severely in photoshop. I had to create an entire new mouth and everything that looked right. It still doesn’t look right, but good enough.

I will probably have to edit a lot more, I don’t know. I also made it semi-3d and everything, which is cool

Here is what I have done so far:
(click for the full size version that you can actually see )

I think it’s looking pretty good. I dunno.

Anyway’s
Michael Moore was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight. I thought he was incredible and did very well.  I think this entire thing about national health care is going to blow up and become something very huge. There is no reason that it shouldn’t and there is no reason why we shouldn’t have free health care. It’s a basic human right.
I really like that guy. He’s a hero

Anyway’s I’m tired. nothing to do, its hot. uh I’ll write again later.

TOODLES eFRIENDS!

Title is random, mostly because this entry is going to be random.

I’m waiting for the TODAY show to come on. I don’t know why but I have this weird daily compulsion (if I’m awake and by the TV) to watch the opening of the TODAY show. It’s weird.  I don’t even watch it much after that ha. I used to watch the entire show though.

I usually have the news on all night when I’m up working on something. But it’s so damn annoying. I only watch MSNBC and for some reason they and the other news channels (that I briefly ever watch) have been talking non stop about Lindsay Lohan. I had to deal with this crap a month ago with Paris Hilton. WHO GIVES A SHIT? I always wonder that. No one really cares about either of them. The only people that are obsessed with them is the media.

I have never met one person in real life who talks or even cares about these celebs. It’s not news, and its not interested. Who wants to watch some semi-talented  celeb destroy themselves? It’s stupid. FOR REAL ITS NOT NEWS!. You probably say “Change the channel”.. well I do, but usually this happens in the middle of the night when there is nothing else on.

I can understand a story about it, but don’t make every damn story about it and give it the entire hour. That’s so lame.

I can understand some celeb stories. Like if a celeb does something cool, but not this same crap over and over. I don’t know.

There is a time for celeb gossip though . I used to buy Life & Style magazine and US weekly when it was cheap and read them in the bathroom I know that’s gross, ha.

its 6:59am now. So the today show intro is coming on soon! woot.

Oh yeah, I sold that new MJ Domain I bought. I didn’t really want to do that site.

Anyway’s I just wanted to rant. I’ll write again later

-josh

toodles!

I miss these shows! I used to watch them all the flipping time!
They don’t really ever show them on tv anymore… or at least not when im watching it.
Today I got over 100 episodes or whatever they’re called (minifilms or something) and i’ve been loving it! I miss this humor. it’s alot different then most of the humor in the cartoons today. Today they have to be sick or outrageous, but these are just plain old silly/funny. I love them.

i feel so sorry for Wile E. Coyote. He keeps trying and trying to catch that road runner but never can ha i think wile is my fav character.

Anyways I just wanted to randomly blurt this out Looney Tunes are AWESOME!

Damn its hot in this room, ha.
I’ve been up all night trying to fix my damn PC. I had to reformat it again. It’s been acting goofy lately.
yesterday i tried to burn off all my pictures and stuff onto blank dvd’s, but my damn brand new (only a few months since i’ve bought it) sony dvd burner has overheated or something, and now it doesn’t work! which sucks. So i didn’t get to back up all my files or anything, but most of the important ones I was able to back up.

That sucks though!

I haven’t written on here for like a week. I haven’t been in the mood or really even talkative. I haven’t been on the messengers or anything online either. I’m actually getting really tired of computers and the net. Same shit all the time.

ahh! man that sucks. Now i have to reinstall all my programs and stuff. I’m going to try to get a external hard drive. this way i can put all my pictures and stuff on them (i have like 50gig worth of pics that i’ve taken) and that way i won’t have to worry about burning them to dvd data discs to back them up. I hope the warranty for it is still valid. I don’t have the papers here so i dunno.

man i hate being hot. The AC here is on, but it only seems to keep the downstairs cool lol. Sucks.

I also have written on here for a week because i don’t know if i want to continue doing this site. I mean, whats the point? I don’t really need a webbie journal or a blog since no one is going to read it anyways. and i don’t want to have multiple sites. I only want to have damnidunno. So i am thinkinga bout moving this over to that site and making it like http://blog.damnidunno.com or something, i don’t know, but i do like the joshx.com domain and name.

I need to get some rest. i’ve been up all night, besides the hour or so i passed out watching tv, while i was waiting for my pc to cool off.

I really hate writing about techy shit here. But when im on the computer to write here, i have to deal with this crap so its just on my mind lol

anyways i’ll write again later.
TOOdles!